But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
