i barfeds in our rink
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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