"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
