i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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