It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
