You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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