Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
