Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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