Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
