Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
