i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize