Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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