she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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