Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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