I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
