Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
