We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
