i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
