Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Small penises have feelings too.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
