i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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