If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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