we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
