You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
