My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
