She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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