I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
