Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize