I hope mine doesn't look like that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need to sanitize my soul.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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