I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
