Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize