I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
