I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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