We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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