The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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