I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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