I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
