The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
