I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
