Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
