Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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