If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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