i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
