I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
