i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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