i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All I want is dick and wine.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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