her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
