I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
