I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
