woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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