No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
