Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
