just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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