"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
