My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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