mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
