I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just pynch a tree in the face
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
