mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
tell me about the eggs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize