I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
