dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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