Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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