...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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