I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
